As I sit here my 8 year old son is trying to write a letter to God, he has a pained expression on his face. It is encouraging me to get writing to God. To process things properly I need to either verbalize them or write them down, so I have decided to write them down. That is what this blog will be about.
So there is this guy at my husbands work, he is relatively cute, rides a motorcycle, tells my husband he likes me. My husband innocently tells me what he says. I feel good about myself but there in lies the problem, it just gets away from me. God I need your help. I need to feel the same excitement for my husband. I want to feel like when we first started dating and we had no kids and no responsibility. Thank You for moving him to a different work place. Help me to have control of my emotions. I never even expected me to feel like this, in the least. I think its the monotony of it all. I have been trying to be honest with my husband about it. The truth is I don't know how I'd feel if I was in his shoes. I think he trusts me too much and doesn't take me serious. I know I would never do anything but thinking about another person is sin in itself no? Yes I know it is. LORD, help me have a passion for my husband. I do love him but sometimes he's more friend than lover. I know You understand this and I can trust You to give me strength. Please renew my marriage! Renew my love for my life, take this man far away! Help me have strength to avoid this temptation. My sons first words are "here I am" (the words of moses at the burning bush). These words I pray.