Well another month has almost past. I try and think why or what am I so busy with? I have no idea. Raising four kids, kind of. It takes up time but really not that much time. I am not that good at thats why. I still have so much selfishness that I can't just get rid of. Which leads me into the fact that I am so blessed to have great kids. They drive Jai and I crazy all day and then whenever we are at friend's houses or doctors offices they are so good. Last night Jai and I dropped the kids off at their Aunts and went to a friends birthday party. They were saying how great our kids were, how quiet and well behaved. Then everyone assumes we are great parents. Some days we are awful parents. I feel bad for poor Ryley. we are always learning with him. Maybe its because we love them. I hope thats why. God has given us the best family. I love that, we both have crazy families but we will always have our fun family. I truly love when we are having fun. I need to enjoy the fun times more. Jai and I just get so carried away with our lists of things we have to do. Even with teaching them each day I need to marvel at their brilliance. God has given me these four beautiful people, and He has trusted them to me. But I need to remember they belong to Him and be thankful for each day.
Back to the party... I had one friend on one side who is dying to start a family and the other who just cannot decide what she wants and is very honest about the fact that kids drive her crazy. How many people have to have the dream? You get married, get your careers, buy the house, have the two kids, it such a load of crap! I am so thankful God just takes care of all my decisions. We didn't want any kids and here I have my four. I respect other people who don't bow to the pressure. Fine get stuck with a bad job or a bad house but marriage and especially kids man those are big decisions. Honestly I never could have decided to have kids they are so much work. They take up every moment of time, its so crazy!