So my husband and I have had a tough week. AN old pornography addiction he has had since he was a teen has reared its ugly head. Knowing what to do is always a challenge for me. But I have come to a good point. I have had an issue with trusting him since 6 years ago when I really found out about it. It wasn't the pornography that ripped us apart it was the lying about it that killed me. So for the last 6 years I have lived in this state of disbelief of him. Poor guy. I Have realized this struggle isn't between he and I its between he and God. He is not letting me down he is letting His Saviour down. Christ trusts him and therefore I need too. There is just no point in living in our past sin. We need to grow and move on.
Then we found out some friends are separated. I never really liked the wife, I think I wrote about her in a previous blog but that doesn't mean I ever wanted something like that for them. Its so very sad. I haven't talked to him yet but I am so curious to know how things get that bad. It makes me so thankful for my husband. We have our issues but he is always willing to sit and talk through it. We always make it better. Sure we fight and drive each other crazy at times but we are best friends. I think it helps that we love spending time with each other. Also that we have kids, it just teaches you not to be selfish. You just don't have time with four kids.
I thank the LORD for my family. My Jai, my Ry, my Elle, my Noamy, and my kayde! Man do I love them! I am blessed!
2 comments:
I'm sorry to hear about the addiction rearing its head again. I recently got married and have often feared my past addiction cropping up to cause problems.
I know how devastating pornography addiction can be to a marriage. I read sad testimonies about it all the time. I actually just wrote a blog about it on my company's blog page: http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/03/11/husbands-who-watch-porn-what-are-their-wives-saying/
Let me know what you think.
If your husband is interested, the company I work for is Covenant Eyes. We've been making and distributing Internet accountability software for the past 8 years and has helped tens of thousands find freedom from Internet pornography's grip. It is really rewarding to hear testimonies about people who are finally finding accountability and good friendships in the Body of Christ, people willing to call them out on their sin and pray for their healing and forgiveness.
Our software isn't like a Internet filter; it simply monitors where a person goes on the Internet. We create detailed Internet-use reports of every single website visited. These reports cannot be edited or erased (like a computer's Internet history). We have an up-to-date scoring system that rates sites based on content and includes those ratings on the report. Accountability partners (of that person's choosing) can then view your Internet activity via emailed reports or on our website 24/7. People avoid viewing porn online because they know they are accountable for what they see.
I'd love to give your husband one month for free to try it out. Go to www.covenanteyes.com and enter promocode 'onefree' to receive a free 30 day trial of the program.
In His Grip,
Luke Gilkerson
Internet Community Manager
Covenant Eyes
www.covenanteyes.com
"I have made a covenant with my eyes" (Job 31:1)
I will talk to my husband and show him your post. He doesn't go on the internet ever because of his struggle but I am sure he would be interested to hear about this ministry. Thanks.
Post a Comment