I am running late on my period. I am a little worried yet hopeful that maybe its my body finally working it all out. My hormones have been so crazy since Kayde was born and you would think after three years everything would be going back to normal. My face although I have some small pimples seems to be clearing up a bit. My boobs weren't leaking this morning which is the first time. SO maybe lets hope.
Lord please help me to trust You. Whatever You are going to give me let me trust You, let me trust Your perfect plan.

Well man I am having a crappy day. I just lost it on my husband. I told him to leave and never come back. Now I really don't think he would do that but who knows. What do you do when you just get to the point in marriage when you feel like life would be so much easier without the other person. I just feel like he is so much work all the time. I am sure I am too but I am too tired to do anything about it. I just don't get how he is okay with not being needed. I don't need him to work and make money, God provides. I could really easily look after the kids all by myself. All I would have to do is use the phone more. I wouldn't have to deal with his mother or sister and that would be so nice. Oh yes he does vaccum, but really I could pick up that once a month job. He does clean out the cat litter but he usually waits until the cat poops or pees in the house to do that. I am sure he fell in love with me because I am so in control and decisive but that has really been his downfall. Each day I take on a new task from him. Then his constant grumpiness. If you feel crappy tell me why. He doesn't tell me because all the things he whines about are so stupid! And what do I say? SUCK IT UP!
SO what do I do? WHy did I fall in love with him? I look back and think what was I thinking? He was such a nice friend, why didn't I leave it at that?
I know God gave him to me. My love came for him came from God, just as his did for me. I need to be better. I cannot change him, I never will. God can change me into more of a servant. I need to be more Christ-like. Help me Lord!