Today I am anxiety ridden. It hit me about half way through my day. My husband was being his grumpy self. Just shutting down. How do I deal with that? Is he being grumpy or is it me? How do people do this for 50 years. Don't get me wrong I am relatively happy in my marriage, he is my best friend, but I just get so sick of dealing with him. I get so sick of myself dealing with him. If I wasn't married I wouldn't have to confront my selfishness or my emotional self. So I talked to him and he made some effort to change but what do I need to do? We really need a scheduled date night. Ryley is almost 9 so that is really not far off when we can just go out for coffee anytime. I need to do something by myself too. Just take an hour for myself each week. I should be going on the treadmill. I promised myself I would do it three times a week. I have to do that. Anyway at some points the prospect of being married for so long is just so crazy!!!!
I have to believe God brought us together for a purpose and we need to let Him fulfill that.

Wow its been a month since I was last on. Not too much has happened. Christmas is over that is about all. I felt a bit softer towards Christmas until Christmas Eve then I had had enough. But we will now have four traditions to Christmas. one being going to listen to Handel's Messiah. Two being Operation Christmas Child shoe boxes. Three being watching the Sound Of Music as well as The Nativity(probably most important). The fourth is stockings for the kids. Well I also always want to remember to read the Christmas story and they have always gotten pjs christmas morning.
The materialism to Christmas is so hard to avoid.